my dance style ranges from white dad at a barbecue to stripper whose rent is due tomorrow
man salads are the best thing in the world
no man salads
when your parents make you call to make your own appointments and have adult responsibilities
There needs to be a bar or club or something that when you walk in there’s a rack of different color wristbands with words like “I’m looking for-“
- no one
So that everyone would know who’s looking for who.
"Hey that girl is cute. And her wristband says she’s also looking for a girl. Sweet!”
"He’s cute, but his wristband says girls. Oh well."
you are the future
when the teacher asks you to answer the question because you weren’t paying attention but you know the answer
once my sister got rejected for a job at a web design company that she really wanted to work for so that night she hacked into their website and redirected it to her blog and the next day the CEO called her and hired her on the spot so moral of the story: if at first you don’t succeed, hack their website and make them beg for mercy